Sh-t Online College Students Say

You’re a college student completing your online degree. Here is the sh*t you say:


online college students

“I am a master at virtual communication.”

“I have five classmates-turned-best-friends that will walk in my future wedding, who I have NEVER met face to face yet.”

“I can type 100 words per minute and you can’t.”

“Pajamas are the new ‘black’.”

 “Textbooks are so 2002.”

“Leave me alone. My discussion post is due at midnight. Oh, and order me pizza while you’re at it.”

“Na-na-na-na-na-na… My monthly gas mileage is way less than yours.”

“My podcast isn’t streaming correctly.”

“Toga parties are lame.”

“On a scale from one to 10, the level of self motivation I have is at a 20.”

“Ahh! My Internet is running so slow tonight.”

“Red Bull and Cheez-Its count as a meal, right?”

“Online college is finally gaining the street cred it deserves.”

“I am about to cyber stalk my professor because he is not answering my email!”

“I love a class where you can look like dirt, but type like gold.”

“Umm — yep — math hasn’t gotten any easier than when in high school.”

“I love having a full-sized fridge.”

“Uugh! Why won’t my classmate turn in her portion of the project?”

“Pshh… I can multitask in my sleep.”

“I can’t wait until I graduate – and have a much better job that I have now.”

“Are you really going to carry all those heavy books across campus?”

“Kitty, get off my book, I am taking a test.”

To advisor: “What do you mean I was dropped from the class? Can we schedule a phone appointment to discuss?”

“Can you Google this for me? I have 45 more minutes left on my time limit for my test.”

“I can master the world through my computer.”

“I’ve learned that it’s never too late to learn – online.”

Sound familiar?

About Allison Freeland

Allie Freeland is the Editor-in-Chief of She has been a professional writer for a decade and received her bachelor's degree in Journalism from the University of Minnesota. She brings a wealth of information about higher education, online degrees, college life, and career advice. Follow her on G+.